SA 4EB1 JUNE2019

One mark for any one of the following:

• he did every talk for fundraising (over 50)

• he took every sailing opportunity

• he is only 17

• he charmed sponsors

• he persuaded big sailing companies to support the project

• he sailed over 3000 miles

• he did masses behind the scenes at school

• his commitment/effort

• he did a lot (of work for the project)

One mark for any one of the following:

• coping skills/coping with difficult weather

• understanding that you have to work hard (to get what you want)

• interpersonal skills/working as a team/working together

• to manage themselves

• resilience

Reward responses that demonstrate how the writer presents the achievements of the students taking

part in the Greig City Academy sailing programme.

Responses may include:

• the use of positive language: ‘prestigious’

• the list of activities Montel has been involved in and the repetition of ‘EVERY’ in

capitals

• the description of the problems the school faces: ‘70 per cent ... free school

meals’, ‘50 different languages’, ‘73 per cent ... disadvantaged’, which is emphasised by the use

of statistics

• the contrast with a ‘typical ocean racing crew’, ‘markedly different’

• the reference to the sponsorship suggests a sport with wealthy participants: ‘the

Fastnet Race, which is sponsored by the exclusive Rolex watch company’

• the use of the reference to the head teacher emphasises the positive attitude and

support: ‘what happens if it goes spectacularly well?’

• the contrast of how they started: ‘12 of the boys really enjoyed it’, ‘a dilapidated

22 ft yacht on eBay’ with their subsequent achievements: ‘142 out of 368 boats’, ‘over 1000 pupils

have gone sailing’

• the things they have learned: ‘understanding’, ‘interpersonal skills’, ‘resilience’

• the description of their experiences in the Fastnet Race: ‘buzzing’, ‘exhilarating’,

‘surfing downwind’, ‘they’ve got the bug for it’

• the use of (enthusiastic) quotations from Jon Holt throughout..

One mark for any one of the following:

• looks good on college/job applications

• shows employers/university admissions officers you are well-rounded

• shows employers/university admissions officers you are responsible

• specific activities help with specific goals

• shows the depth of your commitment

One mark each for any two of the following:

• review the activities on offer

• listen to other students’ experiences

• find an activity that meets your needs

• think about your interests/abilities/time

• don’t limit yourself to the familiar/try something new

• think about different roles

• use ills

Reward responses that demonstrate how the writer persuades the

reader to consider trying after-study activities.

Responses may include:

• the opening questions engage the reader: ‘Bored?’, ‘Looking for a new challenge?’

• the list of possible activities

• the use of questions as sub-headings guides the reader

• the use of listing of the benefits: ‘You get to explore your physical, creative,

social, political, and career interests with like-minded people’

• the range of benefits identified: ‘You'll find friends’, ‘get support from other

students with your background’, ‘a great way to meet people who are different from you’, ‘a way to

break down the barriers between people’, ‘looks good on college and job applications’

• the use of an informal friendly tone: ‘great way’, ‘Everyone needs downtime.’

• the use of direct address: ‘you’ throughout

• the use of questions throughout maintains the reader’s interest

• the use of imperatives: ‘review the activities’, ‘think about different roles’, ‘ask

questions’

• the reassuring and advisory tone of the final two paragraphs: ‘it’s easy to join’,

‘it’s not for you’, ‘it’s important to keep a balance’

• the use of subheadings and bullet points

• the use of varying sentence structures and lengths.

Responses may include the following points:

Text One

• starts off focusing on an individual achievement: ‘awarded the prestigious Young

Sailor of the Year 2017 trophy’

• uses the disadvantages the school faces to add emphasis to the success: ‘70 per cent

of its pupils receiving free school meals’, ‘73 per cent of pupils are statistically classified as

disadvantaged’, ‘The pupils are markedly different’

• details the obstacles they had to overcome: ‘dilapidated 22 ft yacht’, ‘in need of

considerable work’, ‘we didn’t have a boat that could do that’

• how they overcame the obstacles: ‘a vast amount of determination from the pupils’,

‘The boys did all of it’

• the teacher’s account of their experience is very positive: ‘coped with every kind

of condition’, ‘they are a tough bunch of kids’, ‘they were absolutely buzzing’

• uses names of races to show how impressive their achievement is: ‘Fastnet Race’, and

‘Cowes Week’

• the inspirational tone.

General points candidates may make on the whole of Text One

• the use of direct speech helps engage the reader

• the use of occasionally informal style: ‘a lot of schools find reasons for not doing

stuff’, ‘they’ve got the bug for it’

• the use of positive language conveys how successful the sailing programme has been.

Text Two

• initially engages the reader by asking questions

• creates a sense of the opportunities available by listing some of them

• uses a colloquial style – many examples

• details the benefits positively: ‘explore your physical ...’, ‘you’ll find friends’,

‘a great way to meet people’, ‘break down barriers’

• uses questions to address the reader personally – many examples

• offers advice: ‘Check websites or posts’, ‘try something new’

• focuses on persuasion/advice

• gives examples of how activities can help future prospects: ‘shows university

admissions officers and employers’, ‘specific activities help with specific goals’, ‘shows the

depth of your commitment’.

General points candidates may make on the whole of Text Two

• the use of the pronoun ‘you’ engages the reader

• the style is friendly and personal

• the use of direct address: ‘So what’s in it for you?’.